Wednesday, March 26, 2008

A Life Goal

Ivy ready to help me bake.
My apple creation

When I turned 30, I started to think of some life goals for myself. One goal was to learn the for my 30th birthday Matt bought me a beautiful acoustic guitar. (I'm 35 and still don't know how to play the guitar.) Another goal was to bake a pie from scratch. I love to cook but I am not a baker (shout out to Rachel Ray!...neither is she.) also....fat mommy does not need to be leaving baked goods around the house! This weekend I bought a cookbook that had an easy reciepe for a homemade pie. I made it from scratch and it turned out great. Yes I even made the dough! I only had to call my mom once to ask a question!

One life goal realized.....a million more to go!

Monday, March 24, 2008

Easter 2008

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Best Buddies

I was out playing with Ivy while Matt was watching basketball. I wasn't enough and she kept calling for her daddy. I walked out and they were just sitting under the tree. Matt is such a good dad.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

We Tried!

I haven't started potty training yet. ( I know....I am procrastinating!) Tonight Ivy said that she had to go potty so we put her on the toilet. We sat there, read a book, chatted awhile....nothing. Finally Matt was tired of sitting on the bathroom floor so he ended the fun event. I am going to do it during my Spring Break from school.....stay tuned.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Ivy's Adoption Story Part 11

Ivy....2 years old

It was Christmas Eve, a little before 6am. I heard the phone ring. I jumped up to get it so that it wouldn't wake up Matt . (He was mad because he thought it was my dad dad used to always forget about the time change and call too early on Saturday mornings.) It was S. on the phone. She said that K.'s water broke and they were heading for the hospital. We jumped out of bed. S. called back to remind us to be respectful and not come in all excited because it was going to be hard for K. It is funny because Matt and I thought that was silly. Of course we were going to be respectful! We had grown to love K. - As much as we were excited for Ivy to come, my heart ached for what K. was about to go through.

We took a quick shower to wake up and we were on the road. (Remember, we had a 5 hour drive.) I called Germany again and told Wendy to call me in the car. I remember I was so upset. Hollie(my sister) was in the mountains celebrating Christmas and she wasn't getting cell phone reception. I needed her to know that her niece was being born. When she finally checked her phone, she had so many messages from me. She called in a panic and I started to cry. I was so glad that I got ahold of her. (She wasn't expecting Ivy to come. Ivy wasn't due until January 8th.)

We had been in the car for a half an hour when S. called. She said that K. was getting ready to push. I said,"No, I am not there!!!! She can't be pushing!" (I had prayed about being in the delivery room. K. was going to let me...I think. But God knew what was best and I think that K. needed that time alone.) S. called soon after and said,"Give Kelli the phone, the baby is crying." I took the phone and was stunned. I didn't cry yet. It is funny because I was more concerned with how K. was doing. Not that I was scared that she was going to keep the baby but I was thinking of her pain and soon to be loss. It wasn't until I got off the phone. Matt and I listened to the Steven Curtis Chapman song, "Moment Made for Worshiping". Then the tears flew. We were so thankful to God and His goodness!

What was going on at the hospital was a different story..... Before K. had the baby, she was in labor with her mom, sister and S. there. Her family told her that if she kept the baby, they would help raise her. She also had a relative come and tell her that she would help raise the baby and give K. a place to stay. (We didn't know any of this at the time.) K. said the same thing to all of them. She said," I am giving Matt and Kelli this baby. I wish I had a family like theirs growing up." God is so good.

We were getting a little nervous pulling up to the hospital. I knew that we had a lot of people praying for us but since she was so far away and it was Christmas Eve, we had to do everything alone. People had told me horror stories of how nurses and Dr.'s weren't the kindest to the adoptive parents. We were walking into the unknown and about to find out how people were going to treat us.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Ivy's Adoption Story Part 10

Ivy and Grandpa Gorsh

I called K. right after Thanksgiving. At first she sounded really depressed but the more we talked, her spirits were raised. (Ivy, she had such a hard life but she was also trying to go through life without surrendering her life to the Lord. It was really sad.) That was the last time we talked until Ivy was born. K. had gotten diabetes and wasn't feeling well so she just shut down. She was MIA, not returning phone calls. She finally talked to S. She told her that she didn't want to talk to Matt and I because she really liked us and she felt like she was getting too attached. She didn't want to get used to talking to us every week and then not talk to us too much after the baby was born.

She also quit taking care of herself. I think she was tired of being pregnant, she was taking care of her 2 year old son, and this time we just had to pray that God would protect the baby. I wanted the baby out! I was pretty patient until December 23,2005. I was talking to S. on the phone and she was saying that K. was really not doing anything that the Dr.'s were telling her to do. I had hit my limit! I got off the phone and prayed so hard. I said, "Lord, I am ready for this baby to come out!"

The next morning, Christmas Eve, at about 6 am. I woke up to the phone ringing....the Lord was about to answer my prayer.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Ivy's Adoption Story Part 9

Daddy and Ivy

Surprisingly, Matt and I slept really well the night before. We were excited but not too nervous. It is funny how confident we were. We thought that we would be great parents and who wouldn't like us? That seems so funny now.

We met K. outside of our hotel. She wore jeans and a grey sweatshirt. She had dyed her hair dark, it almost had a purplish tint. She didn't wear any makeup and at first, she was really quiet. I noticed that she had pretty facial features.

When we got to the restaurant, she got a little excited when I gave her a basket of presents. (Thank you Tracy for the idea!) I bought her pajamas for the hospital, socks and an overnight case. Her mom asked us alot of questions about what church we went to ( I think she is a Believer) and alot about us. She asked us what we were going to call the baby. I said, "Ivy Elisabeth". K. asked if we would consider using Emma as a second middle name. Without even thinking I said," I think we can maybe do that." Matt about fell off his chair! I quickly added, "Yeah ,we have to discuss it first." (We later told her that her name would be Ivy Emma Elisabeth Elliott. That meant alot to her.) S. said that K. lit up when we were around and that made us feel good.

We went to K.'s Dr. appointment and saw Ivy for the first time. The Dr. said that she looked good but on the big side. K. had told me that she never looked at the monitor during an ultrasound because she didn't want to get too attached to the baby. When we were all in there, she was looking at the screen smiling. She said that it was because she was so happy for Matt and I. We went with her to take a diabetes test because she was getting really big and not eating healthy. (She had it.) That allowed us more time with her....and I wanted to make sure that she took the test.

We left K. that day and told her that we would call her. At this point, we all decided that Ivy would be ours.

To Ivy: I was a little nervous that K. would not take good care of her body. She was depressed and tired, and not feeling well because of the diabetes. There were so many times when I fought the urge to be anxious. I just wanted you to come out so I could take you home! It was yet another example of my need to trust Jesus. I would often pray for Him to take care of you because I wasn't there. You weren't in my hands but you were in His hands and I was praying hard that He would just hold you tight!

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Ivy's Adoption Story Part 8

Ivy playing in the sheets............

Before we talked to K. on the phone, S. called to talk to us. She told us that K. was very depressed and she proubly wouldn't be doing a lot of talking. Matt and I weren't too worried about it. We were going to have a 3 way call with S.,K. and Matt and I.

As we all started talking, I jumped right in telling her about us, what we did for a living , about church, friends, family and wanting a baby.

She told us about herself. I remember that she talked without any emotion in her voice. She was very "matter of fact", "tell it like it is. " Even though she was very blunt, I liked the fact that she was so honest. We both asked each other bold questions and weren't afraid to answer them. She answered everything that I asked. She said that she had a hard life and that when she found out she was pregnant she always knew that she wanted to give the baby a better home. She had named the baby Emma.

She was having an ultrasound in 2 days and invited us up to go to the appointment. We decided to meet for breakfast before the appointment. S. was going to come, K.,her mom and her son .

(S. called us after we all talked and said that K. really liked us and that she never expected K. to talk to us as much as she did.)

Matt and I started to get really excited. I asked S...."does K. look at us like the adoptive parents or are we just going up there so that she can check us out".....she paused (thinking we weren't sure about wanting the baby) she said that K. was looking at us like the adoptive parents...I said good we are too.

I was so excited to talk to Wendy! I was laying in bed and thinking. At 2am, I went downstairs and called Germany.( We don't even have a long distance plan on our phone! ) I thought Matt would kill me so when Mike answered, I was whispering....."Mike have Wendy call me." It made him whisper...."Ok, I will do it." That always makes me laugh when I think about it. I told Wendy and she was screaming, so excited. She hated being so far away.

We drove 5 hours the night before and stayed in a Holiday Inn. We wondered if we were actually meeting OUR birthmom the next day. What would she look like? We were so curious and we would just have one more night's sleep until we found out!

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Ivy's Adoption Story Part 7

Tracy and Ivy

As Matt and I were starting this process and getting ready to talk to K., Wendy kept telling me that I needed to talk to her friend Tracy. Tracy and her husband had adopted 4 out of their 5 kids. She knew alot about birthmoms and adopting. I kept telling Wendy that I would call her when I felt I needed to....well as the phone call with K. was fast approaching. I felt that I needed to.

This is why I love Tracy. Right as we started talking, I was telling her what I wanted done at the hospital , how I wanted the baby handled, what I wanted K. to do and she stopped me dead in my tracks! She said "Kelli , you are not going to do any of that. You are going to let K. do whatever she needs to do to say goodbye and let go of that baby. You want K. to leave that hospital with no regrets with how she said goodbye." God used that phone call to convict my heart. ( I don't know if Tracy even remembers us talking about that but I do.) I was so busy thinking about Matt and I getting a baby that I wasn't even thinking about what K. was going to go through. She wasn't just my "baby maker", she was a young woman getting ready to go through maybe the hardest thing she would ever have to go through. That night, even without meeting her yet, I started to pray for her and I started to love her even then. Maybe she wouldn't be my birthmom but she would be someone's and I knew that she needed my prayers.

To Ivy: It's hard to explain how much I love your birthmom. As you will see later, things with K. weren't always the smoothest, and sometimes people ask me why I even still talked to her, let alone love her....but I am telling you with tears in my eyes that I love her like my own family because she gave me you. She didn't have to but in the end she did the right thing. God knew that you would always be ours and K. was part of His plan. I think of her, pray for her, and love her for giving us something that we could have never had without her help. Her pain was our reward and I'm forever grateful. God is good!

The next day was our talk with K...............