Ivy's Adoption Story Part 11

Ivy....2 years old

It was Christmas Eve, a little before 6am. I heard the phone ring. I jumped up to get it so that it wouldn't wake up Matt . (He was mad because he thought it was my dad calling...my dad used to always forget about the time change and call too early on Saturday mornings.) It was S. on the phone. She said that K.'s water broke and they were heading for the hospital. We jumped out of bed. S. called back to remind us to be respectful and not come in all excited because it was going to be hard for K. It is funny because Matt and I thought that was silly. Of course we were going to be respectful! We had grown to love K. - As much as we were excited for Ivy to come, my heart ached for what K. was about to go through.


We took a quick shower to wake up and we were on the road. (Remember, we had a 5 hour drive.) I called Germany again and told Wendy to call me in the car. I remember I was so upset. Hollie(my sister) was in the mountains celebrating Christmas and she wasn't getting cell phone reception. I needed her to know that her niece was being born. When she finally checked her phone, she had so many messages from me. She called in a panic and I started to cry. I was so glad that I got ahold of her. (She wasn't expecting Ivy to come. Ivy wasn't due until January 8th.)


We had been in the car for a half an hour when S. called. She said that K. was getting ready to push. I said,"No, I am not there!!!! She can't be pushing!" (I had prayed about being in the delivery room. K. was going to let me...I think. But God knew what was best and I think that K. needed that time alone.) S. called soon after and said,"Give Kelli the phone, the baby is crying." I took the phone and was stunned. I didn't cry yet. It is funny because I was more concerned with how K. was doing. Not that I was scared that she was going to keep the baby but I was thinking of her pain and soon to be loss. It wasn't until I got off the phone. Matt and I listened to the Steven Curtis Chapman song, "Moment Made for Worshiping". Then the tears flew. We were so thankful to God and His goodness!


What was going on at the hospital was a different story..... Before K. had the baby, she was in labor with her mom, sister and S. there. Her family told her that if she kept the baby, they would help raise her. She also had a relative come and tell her that she would help raise the baby and give K. a place to stay. (We didn't know any of this at the time.) K. said the same thing to all of them. She said," I am giving Matt and Kelli this baby. I wish I had a family like theirs growing up." God is so good.

We were getting a little nervous pulling up to the hospital. I knew that we had a lot of people praying for us but since she was so far away and it was Christmas Eve, we had to do everything alone. People had told me horror stories of how nurses and Dr.'s weren't the kindest to the adoptive parents. We were walking into the unknown and about to find out how people were going to treat us.

Ivy's Adoption Story Part 10

Ivy and Grandpa Gorsh

I called K. right after Thanksgiving. At first she sounded really depressed but the more we talked, her spirits were raised. (Ivy, she had such a hard life but she was also trying to go through life without surrendering her life to the Lord. It was really sad.) That was the last time we talked until Ivy was born. K. had gotten diabetes and wasn't feeling well so she just shut down. She was MIA, not returning phone calls. She finally talked to S. She told her that she didn't want to talk to Matt and I because she really liked us and she felt like she was getting too attached. She didn't want to get used to talking to us every week and then not talk to us too much after the baby was born.

She also quit taking care of herself. I think she was tired of being pregnant, she was taking care of her 2 year old son, and working.So...at this time we just had to pray that God would protect the baby. I wanted the baby out! I was pretty patient until December 23,2005. I was talking to S. on the phone and she was saying that K. was really not doing anything that the Dr.'s were telling her to do. I had hit my limit! I got off the phone and prayed so hard. I said, "Lord, I am ready for this baby to come out!"

The next morning, Christmas Eve, at about 6 am. I woke up to the phone ringing....the Lord was about to answer my prayer.

Ivy's Adoption Story Part 9

Daddy and Ivy

Surprisingly, Matt and I slept really well the night before. We were excited but not too nervous. It is funny how confident we were. We thought that we would be great parents and who wouldn't like us? That seems so funny now.

We met K. outside of our hotel. She wore jeans and a grey sweatshirt. She had dyed her hair dark, it almost had a purplish tint. She didn't wear any makeup and at first, she was really quiet. I noticed that she had pretty facial features.

When we got to the restaurant, she got a little excited when I gave her a basket of presents. (Thank you Tracy for the idea!) I bought her pajamas for the hospital, socks and an overnight case. Her mom asked us alot of questions about what church we went to ( I think she is a Believer) and alot about us. She asked us what we were going to call the baby. I said, "Ivy Elisabeth". K. asked if we would consider using Emma as a second middle name. Without even thinking I said," I think we can maybe do that." Matt about fell off his chair! I quickly added, "Yeah ,we have to discuss it first." (We later told her that her name would be Ivy Emma Elisabeth Elliott. That meant alot to her.) S. said that K. lit up when we were around and that made us feel good.

We went to K.'s Dr. appointment and saw Ivy for the first time. The Dr. said that she looked good but on the big side. K. had told me that she never looked at the monitor during an ultrasound because she didn't want to get too attached to the baby. When we were all in there, she was looking at the screen smiling. She said that it was because she was so happy for Matt and I. We went with her to take a diabetes test because she was getting really big and not eating healthy. (She had it.) That allowed us more time with her....and I wanted to make sure that she took the test.

We left K. that day and told her that we would call her. At this point, we all decided that Ivy would be ours.

To Ivy: I was a little nervous that K. would not take good care of her body. She was depressed and tired, and not feeling well because of the diabetes. There were so many times when I fought the urge to be anxious. I just wanted you to come out so I could take you home! It was yet another example of my need to trust Jesus. I would often pray for Him to take care of you because I wasn't there. You weren't in my hands but you were in His hands and I was praying hard that He would just hold you tight!

Ivy's Adoption Story Part 8

Ivy playing in the sheets............



Before we talked to K. on the phone, S. called to talk to us. She told us that K. was very depressed and she proubly wouldn't be doing a lot of talking. Matt and I weren't too worried about it. We were going to have a 3 way call with S.,K. and Matt and I.

As we all started talking, I jumped right in telling her about us, what we did for a living , about church, friends, family and wanting a baby.

She told us about herself. I remember that she talked without any emotion in her voice. She was very "matter of fact", "tell it like it is. " Even though she was very blunt, I liked the fact that she was so honest. We both asked each other bold questions and weren't afraid to answer them. She answered everything that I asked. She said that she had a hard life and that when she found out she was pregnant she always knew that she wanted to give the baby a better home. She had named the baby Emma.

She was having an ultrasound in 2 days and invited us up to go to the appointment. We decided to meet for breakfast before the appointment. S. was going to come, K.,her mom and her son .

(S. called us after we all talked and said that K. really liked us and that she never expected K. to talk to us as much as she did.)

Matt and I started to get really excited. I asked S...."does K. look at us like the adoptive parents or are we just going up there so that she can check us out".....she paused (thinking we weren't sure about wanting the baby) she said that K. was looking at us like the adoptive parents...I said good we are too.

I was so excited to talk to Wendy! I was laying in bed and thinking. At 2am, I went downstairs and called Germany.( We don't even have a long distance plan on our phone! ) I thought Matt would kill me so when Mike answered, I was whispering....."Mike have Wendy call me." It made him whisper...."Ok, I will do it." That always makes me laugh when I think about it. I told Wendy and she was screaming, so excited. She hated being so far away.

We drove 5 hours the night before and stayed in a Holiday Inn. We wondered if we were actually meeting OUR birthmom the next day. What would she look like? We were so curious and we would just have one more night's sleep until we found out!

Ivy's Adoption Story Part 7

Tracy and Ivy

As Matt and I were starting this process and getting ready to talk to K., Wendy kept telling me that I needed to talk to her friend Tracy. Tracy and her husband had adopted 4 out of their 5 kids. She knew alot about birthmoms and adopting. I kept telling Wendy that I would call her when I felt I needed to....well as the phone call with K. was fast approaching. I felt that I needed to.

This is why I love Tracy. Right as we started talking, I was telling her what I wanted done at the hospital , how I wanted the baby handled, what I wanted K. to do and she stopped me dead in my tracks! She said "Kelli , you are not going to do any of that. You are going to let K. do whatever she needs to do to say goodbye and let go of that baby. You want K. to leave that hospital with no regrets with how she said goodbye." God used that phone call to convict my heart. ( I don't know if Tracy even remembers us talking about that but I do.) I was so busy thinking about Matt and I getting a baby that I wasn't even thinking about what K. was going to go through. She wasn't just my "baby maker", she was a young woman getting ready to go through maybe the hardest thing she would ever have to go through. That night, even without meeting her yet, I started to pray for her and I started to love her even then. Maybe she wouldn't be my birthmom but she would be someone's and I knew that she needed my prayers.

To Ivy: It's hard to explain how much I love your birthmom. As you will see later, things with K. weren't always the smoothest, and sometimes people ask me why I even still talked to her, let alone love her....but I am telling you with tears in my eyes that I love her like my own family because she gave me you. She didn't have to but in the end she did the right thing. God knew that you would always be ours and K. was part of His plan. I think of her, pray for her, and love her for giving us something that we could have never had without her help. Her pain was our reward and I'm forever grateful. God is good!

The next day was our talk with K...............

Ivy's Adoption Story Part 6

Ivy and Aunt Hollie

By this time it was November and we were waiting, praying and getting ready for Thanksgiving. Our intention was always to redo the baby's room in our house. (It was a skateboard room from the people we bought our house from.) Matt spent a Saturday tearing up the stained carpet. We figured that we had time to put a new floor in and paint.

I remember it like it was yesterday. Matt was watching TV and I was sweeping the floor. The phone rang and the caller ID said it was the sister of the teacher at my school. ( I will call her S.) S. introduced herself and told us of her friend who was having a baby. She said that it was a baby girl due in January. She said the birthmother was sure she was giving the baby up. I think she was 26yrs. old and already had a young son. She had done some things where she hadn't good care of the baby, but she had gone to all of her Dr. appointments and the baby looked healthy. I said OK, that Matt and I would talk about it and then I hung up. The funny thing is that I didn't ask her hardly any questions....I was in such shock! I had to call her back to ask more questions and she was laughing. She said," I knew you would call me back because you didn't seem to ask me anything about her."

The girl's name was K. She had actually picked a different birthfamily and ( I think) was with them for a couple of months. They decided at the last minute to keep trying infertility treatments and they backed out. (It seems odd to me that they would pursue adoption without being sure but I know the Lord used them to guide K. in many ways.) I was concerned about some of the things that she had done in her past and I wanted to get some other opinions.We decided that in a couple of days we were going to talk to K. on the phone and get to know her.(She lived 5 hours away.) However.... even before that, God would bring someone into my life to help change my view of my child's adoption and show me how to truly love my birthmom.....Enter Tracy Dodson into my life.

Ivy's Adoption Story Part 5

Ivy and I at the "Ivy Restaraunt" in West Hollywood

I went to work to photocopy my letter. I was going to send it to people in Iowa,Washington, and California. While I was getting ready to copy it , a mom at my school asked what I was doing and if she could read the letter. She started to cry and asked to keep it. That was a couple of weeks before school started.

On the first day back at school, I was greeted by the President of the Parents Association. She asked me if I played bunko. I said no. She said that they were going to have a bunko night where you pay $40. ( I was thinking, I wouldn't be going...I am saving for a baby!) She then told me that it was "Baby Bunko" and that at the end of the night , all of the money would go to Matt and I to use towards our adoption! She came back to me later and told me that it turned into "Baby Bingo" and it was going to be held at the school because so many people wanted to come. I was blown away!

God was so good in that Wendy was still home to experience this with me. ( She is not going to like me telling this part of the story. But this is part of it....so deal!) Wendy kept asking me if my mom was coming out from Iowa to come. I said no and that this was part of me living in California and her living in Iowa. We would miss out on some things. I had invited Wendy and the kids over for chili. While we were eating,my sister called and said that she was coming over. Hollie said that she wanted me to video her and her roommate rapping a song. (if you know Hollie...the funny thing is this is normal for her and I thought nothing of it.) When she came in the door she said she was going to video tape me to see if the camera worked. I didn't care, I just kept eating my chili. ( I wasn't "fat mommy " then...I was just "fat Kelli". ) As she was filming me, my mom walked in the door! I was so surprised! I asked her what she was doing and then it dawned on me that she must be here for my " Baby Bingo". I started crying so hard, my mom was crying, Wendy was crying, and Hollie was still videoing. My mom said, "Thank Mike and Wendy. They flew me out here."

In October.....

"Baby Bingo" was a huge success and so much fun. Money was coming in from people who were invited but couldn't make it. They had raffles and if you brought a baby gift you got a free ticket. Matt and I got to keep all of the baby gifts! There were prizes. Matt chose the balls and I called them out for bingo. They let me talk to the crowd and I talked about God's faithfulness to Matt and I already. God was sure showing me in a big way that He was in control of this! We were also getting money from around the country and encouraging notes from people getting the newsletter. I NEVER ASKED FOR MONEY IN MY LETTER! God had just put it on people's hearts to give. When we got home, I looked through all of the baby gifts. My mom asked me if I was sad that none of my friends were here to look through the gifts with me. I said "Heck no, I've waited forever for gifts like this and I don't care who is watching me open them!"
"Baby Bingo" raised around $5,ooo! I was overwhelmed with gratitude and love.

The week of "Baby Bingo", a teacher at my school said that her sister worked in a home for unwed mothers and had a girl who wanted to give her baby to a Christian home. I gave her Tim's website and phone number and told her to call him if she was interested in us.....that was that. Then I flew to Berlin, Germany with Wendy and the kids. I remeber so well sitting on Wendy's leather couch in Germany late one night and she asked me if I thought I would get that baby. I said no because I hadn't heard anything else.....little did I know that my baby was cooking and ready to meet me in just a few short months.

Ivy's Adoption Story Part 4

OK.....Now that we wanted to adopt we were trying to figure out the best way for us. Let me tell you how the Lord deals with Matt and I alot. We have never had much money so usually whatever we can afford, that is an easy answer for us. We had $1,000 in our account saved for adoption. We had used the rest on infertility Dr.'s. Matt and I had some...alot of college debt and we felt really strongly that we could not go into anymore debt adopting. We went to a Chrisitan agency and after leaving, we knew that it would be too much money. The more people we talked to that had adopted, there was a name that kept coming up. Attorney Tim Blied. I think at that time, EVERYBODY that we knew that had adopted had used Tim in some form. We were going to wait and save a little more money, but we decided to meet with him and while we were waiting on a baby save the money we needed.



His office is in Fullerton, so we drove late after work one night to meet with him. Let me just say that we LOVE US SOME TIME BLIED.! We left his office so encouraged. He took so much time with us to make sure we understood everything he was talking about. He is a wonderful Christian man who had the same views on adopting, infertility, birthmoms,etc. as us. He is just one of the many people God used to change our hearts in different areas. We started the process with him right away because we had so much to do. One thing he said was to write and tell everyone we knew that we were adopting....He said that you never know how God will use that to bring a baby to us. So...we wrote kind of like a Christmas newsletter telling about what we were up to and that we were adopting. Who knew that that letter would be used in a chain of events to bring us Ivy Elliott!

Ivy's Adoption Story Part 3

Ivy (one week old) with her dad


Matt and I went in to do our 2nd artificial insemination with the Dr. He said that it went perfect. He said that he would be really surprised if it didn't take. Matt and I were hopeful. We had decided that this would be our final step and that if this didn't work, we were going to leave infertility behind and look toward adoption. We had spent so much time and money!


One way that God was so good is that Matt and I agreed on EVERYTHING. When to start infertility treatments, when to stop it, when to adopt.....we hear that is not the norm in most marriages, even Christian marriages and we we grateful that the Lord was working on our hearts at the same time.


During that month of waiting to see if the insemination worked, one night, Matt and I were watching TV. I don't know how to explain this except to tell it like it happened. ( I don't feel like God does anything dramatic to speak to me). While Matt and I were sitting in the living room, I had an incredible "feeling" that this insemination was not going to work(even though the Dr. said everything went fine), I really felt like we were done and my heart opened wide to adoption that night. Not just as an alternative for having a baby but a desire to do it. I started crying really hard and I was afraid to tell Matt what I was feeling. ( I think he already thought I was nuts from all the infertility drugs I was taking). I told him how I felt and he said that he already knew because he felt the same way.


When I didn't get pregnant, I still had a good cry (it was leaving my dream of naturally having a baby behind) but I was looking toward the future. God was so good in that our insemination had went perfectly so I had no "what if's" about the situation. God just didn't want us getting pregnant and that was a good enough answer for me. I didn't need a big medical reason. By the way, let me offer some advice. Please don't tell a woman that because she is done trying to have a baby, that now she'll get pregnant. I know people mean well but that does not help. In order for me to look at adoption, I had to let go of my dream and when people say things like that it makes it hard and ...they don't know God's plan for our lives. People only said it because they loved me and were trying to be positive. I have a list of "not so smart things" that people said to me.(OK...just a minute while I climb off my soap box....Ok.)
Now....what do we do about adopting........

Ivy's Adoption Story Part 2

Ivy (2) and Lexie Kostjuk(3)

People are going to laugh who know this story but I have to tell it. Let me just tell you how much I loved Kirk Cameron as a teen. I was a little obsessed. I even used to pray for his salvation because I know we couldn't get married if he wasn't a Christian. ( He is a super godly man now serving the Lord...I don't want to take any credit for that but....ya know!) Anyways, Matt and I had done our first artificial insemination with the specialist and it didn't work. I drove to Thousand Oaks and met with the Dr., he told me that we were going to start the drugs again. I tried to stay positive in front of him but I wanted so badly to start crying right there. I hated all the shots and drugs. I left the office asking the Lord for strength. I remember praying," Lord I know you love me and this is for my good but I am so low right now. I need SOMETHING today to let me know you care about me and my feelings." I wasn't asking for a baby that day, just something to lift my spirits. I went to the gas station to get gas and a guy (who had that 1990's look about him)walked in to pay and it reminded me of Kirk Cameron. I said to myself, "Lord, now THAT would make my day"....meaning seeing Kirk Cameron.

Now....the next part of this story is the ABSOLUTE TRUTH!!!!! I went across the street to get a Jamba Juice and KIRK CAMERON WAS SITTING THERE READING HIS BIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I went into Jamba Juice and started shaking a little bit. I had to talk to him or Matt would kill me because I have talked about meeting him forever. I went up to him and started talking, I remember talking so fast that he was just staring at me in disbelief. We talked about John MacArthur....we had to because before I went up to him I didn't even plan out what I was going to say. After I left, I was so excited I called everyone I knew. They were waiting for me to call about the DR. and I was screaming so loud about Kirk, I literally lost my voice. People thought I was nuts. They kept asking me what the Dr. said and I said WHO CARES!

As I laid in bed that night still happy from my visit, I remembered the prayer I prayed to the Lord. I just laid there and thanked Him. People might just always laugh at this story but I remember it as the day that God showed me that He was not going to take this trial from me, He didn't even promise me that it would end soon but He showed me that He loved me and that He was going to be faithful to show me anytime I needed it!

Ivy's Adoption Story Part 1

My friend Tracy is writing the stories of all of her kid's adoptions. I have started Ivy's story in a book but I think blogging it will force me to finish it. I find Tracy's stories so fasinating (see Dodson Family at the bottom of my blog) so I thought people might like to read Ivy's. So......Here we go. First, let me take a moment and talk to my daughter.

For- Ivy Emma Elisabeth Elliott

This book has stories about your life that I think you should know about. I want to write it down before I forget these little facts. Treasure this story as much as I love and treasure you.
Love, Your Mom

Matt and I had wanted to have a baby about 3 years into our marriage. We didn't start trying yet because we couldn't afford it. I know people say that you can never afford to have a baby but we really couldn't. We had too much college debt. It wasn't until we were married about 6 years (Matt and I are trying to remember...all I know is that it felt like forever!) that we started trying to have a baby. I don't know how to explain it but I always had a feeling that I would have a hard time getting pregnant. Maybe it was God preparing my heart for things to come. We met with a regular Dr. and not long after that we went to a specialist in Thousand Oaks. He was so great and caring, not a believer but he was very positive that we would get pregnant. One problem that we had is that my eggs grow slow, so when we were doing artificial insemination, I would have to drive to Thousand Oaks (about 45 minutes away) every other day, leave work and go by myself. My work was so understanding, telling me my family came first but those drives were lonely and discouraging. The drugs made me so sad and I cried all the time. Ask Wendy! She was such a good friend to me, she endured alot. I often asked her in tears, "Do you like being my friend? I am so high maitenance." I remember Mike walking in the door and saying" Geez,Why is Kelli crying again?" Matt was wonderful too. He would just lay in bed with me while I cried about nothing. I am so thankful that I will never take those drugs again!