Ivy's Adoption Story Part 3

Ivy (one week old) with her dad


Matt and I went in to do our 2nd artificial insemination with the Dr. He said that it went perfect. He said that he would be really surprised if it didn't take. Matt and I were hopeful. We had decided that this would be our final step and that if this didn't work, we were going to leave infertility behind and look toward adoption. We had spent so much time and money!


One way that God was so good is that Matt and I agreed on EVERYTHING. When to start infertility treatments, when to stop it, when to adopt.....we hear that is not the norm in most marriages, even Christian marriages and we we grateful that the Lord was working on our hearts at the same time.


During that month of waiting to see if the insemination worked, one night, Matt and I were watching TV. I don't know how to explain this except to tell it like it happened. ( I don't feel like God does anything dramatic to speak to me). While Matt and I were sitting in the living room, I had an incredible "feeling" that this insemination was not going to work(even though the Dr. said everything went fine), I really felt like we were done and my heart opened wide to adoption that night. Not just as an alternative for having a baby but a desire to do it. I started crying really hard and I was afraid to tell Matt what I was feeling. ( I think he already thought I was nuts from all the infertility drugs I was taking). I told him how I felt and he said that he already knew because he felt the same way.


When I didn't get pregnant, I still had a good cry (it was leaving my dream of naturally having a baby behind) but I was looking toward the future. God was so good in that our insemination had went perfectly so I had no "what if's" about the situation. God just didn't want us getting pregnant and that was a good enough answer for me. I didn't need a big medical reason. By the way, let me offer some advice. Please don't tell a woman that because she is done trying to have a baby, that now she'll get pregnant. I know people mean well but that does not help. In order for me to look at adoption, I had to let go of my dream and when people say things like that it makes it hard and ...they don't know God's plan for our lives. People only said it because they loved me and were trying to be positive. I have a list of "not so smart things" that people said to me.(OK...just a minute while I climb off my soap box....Ok.)
Now....what do we do about adopting........