Friday, August 29, 2008

Small Victory (Update #8)

We got some great news last night. as you might have guessed, this week was absolutely crazy! I started work, took the baby to alot of extra appointments, had my own social worker visit and then started the visits with BM (birthmom). It was a hectic week. I was not really thrilled to drive down to Chatsworth 2x a week for visits. I would be gone 3 hours one day and 4-5 hours another day...just on the visits.

Well...our socail worker told us last night that they moved all of the visits to Santa Clarita because there was no room in Chatsworth. That is what we had wanted all along. The birthmom is not going to be happy because she said it was too hard to get up here. The DCFS (Department of Child and Family Services) said that if she wants to see her child then she needs to make an effort. The grandma is not going to be happy either. I get alittle concerned that this would put a fire under her to get certified herself....but again who am I to know the Lord's plans.

I am so thankful for the Lord that He gave us a little breathing room. I would do anything for this little girl, even if it spent 2 days in the car. But the Lord knew it would get old for me, Ivy and Tate (Ivy's friend that I watch on those days.) God is so good. Even in the midst of the trial He still shows His love and concern for us.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Fost Adopt Update #7

Well, I dropped Ivy off at wendy's and Matt came with me to drop off BGE at the visit. We weren't really prepared for what we saw. When we got there, We were brought to a room to drop her off and Matt and I walked into the room and thought that we were in the wrong room. We thought that there was a man sitting there waiting but it was our birthmom. Dressed in all black, those big earrings that stretch your ear out, tattoos,reeking of smoke and a baseball cap. I said "Hi,....( name). I stretched out my hand to shake hers and Matt did the same. She did not act like she wanted to shake my hand and she was acting like she had already decided not to like us. It was time to hand her over. That is when I wanted to cry. BGE looked beautiful and peaceful and I was handing her over to a masculine girl who scared the day lights out of me. Even then I started to pray. She called BGE "Mommy".
I got a little shaken when I got to the car. Begging the Lord already to spare her from that life and make her ours. I was thinking..she has went from Sunday at church to this? reminding myself that the Lord loves her more than me. Please continue to pray. This is just the beginning and we haven't even had visits with Grandma yet. It makes me thankful for my salvation. I could have grown up in a family like that but the Lord plucked me out of darkness. These visits remind me of what darkness looks like. Please continue to pray.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Fost Adopt Update #6

Wow! Where to begin....Matt and I went to a meeting today to talk about the situation with BGE. Here are some of the things that we found out.

*Grandparents got mad at the fact that they got an hour visit a week with the baby. (they wanted more) so she said that they were going to become foster parents and take the baby.

* They said in court that they did not want to adopt the baby (they could change their mind)

*They have had allegations about them come up over they years (but the social worker said they could still be foster parent certified)

* The birthmom has not done one thing the court has told her to do yet or been to any scheduled meetings to discuss it.

* I take the baby to her first supervised visit with the birthmom tomorrow. (They think she might cause a problem because she is mad that her lesbian girlfriend can not be in the room...even though they plan to get married.)

* The judge we have has been favored to side with the biological family.

*In 6 months the birthmom proubly won't have her rights terminated but they with take away her help for getting services. (she will have to do it all on her own...she is not even doing it with help.)

*It will proubly be a year before they terminate parental rights.

Prayer Requests....

*That Matt and I will be a testimony to the people that we are in contact with so that they see a difference in us and come to know the Lord.

*That birthmom doesn't make trouble tomorrow or she doesn't even show up..and that her girlfriend won't show up. ( I am a little scared and I am praying for safety for the baby and I.)

*That Grandma won't make any more trouble and that she really decides not to adopt her.

* That Matt and I won't get caught up in the drama of it all but consontrate on loving our baby and giving her the most love she has ever felt in her whole life.

Thank you to all of you for your prayers and encouraging words. I told someone this week that I have had a good week and I attribute it to all of your prayers. God is so good and I am resting in the fact that He is in control.

Proverbs 16:9 "A man's heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps."

Monday, August 25, 2008

Paula Deen Dessert

Ivy and I made a yummy dessert for Daddy while Sissy (BGE) looked on. It was fabulous!
1 20 oz. box Duncan Hines Chewy Fudge Brownie Mix (plus ingredients to prepare)
8oz. pkg. of softened cream cheese
8 oz. can of crushed pineapple, juice reserved
2T. sugar
2 bananas, sliced in lemon juice to prevent browning
1 cup fresh sliced strawberries
1cup chopped nuts
chocolate syrup for drizzling
preheat oven to 350. grease 15 in. pizza pan
prepare brownie mix according to box directions. Pour onto prepared pan. Bake for 20 min. or until done.
Remove and let cool.
Beat cream cheese, sugar and pineapple in a bowl. Use pineapple juice to soften mixture (if needed). spread it on cool brownie. Arrange banana and strawberry slices on the cream cheese mixture. Add nuts and chocolate drizzle. Refridgerate. To serve, slice like a pizza and enjoy!

Paula Deens's Banana Split Brownie Pizza

Friday, August 22, 2008

To Matt

Matt, I was just sitting here thinking how in love I am with you. I am so lucky to have you as my husband and to have a person like you in my life. I was thinking about the life I have with you.

You might never have a son to raise like you desired but the love you have for all your girls is overwhelming. Any girl, me, Ivy, Sissy would be blessed beyond measure to have a dad/husband/example of you in their life. You are a man that will be hard to compete with as they get older. What a blessing to have you as their dad. You are more than I deserve and I am so in love with you.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Fost Adopt Update #4

I am not sure what was supposed to happen in court today but DCFS recommended that the grandparents not be given the baby and the court agreed. I think that means for just right now but that is still a victory. One of the social workers said that she thinks that the grandparents are not going to get the baby, even if they want her. She said that the birthmom might want her but she has ALOT to do if she wants to get her back.

I know that alot can change but I feel like the Lord gave me a glimpse of hope. We will keep right on trusting in Him. Little Sissy is all smiles and trying to goo goo ga ga at us. She is so precious and we truly love her already. I asked her today if she wanted me to be her mom and she smiled. I think she wants to keep me!

Please continue to join us in prayer.

Baby Diego

I don't know if it is her new brown sister or she is watching too many cartoons but I asked Ivy to take her "very caucasian" babydoll out of the baby swing so that I could put Little sis in the swing. I said, "Ivy, what is your baby's name? You are her mommy and you get to name her." To which she replied,"Diego". I said, " you want your baby girl to be named Diego?" And she said yes...Ok well...Go Diego Go!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Fun Day at the Woodward's

Saturday, Matt and I wanted to get away as a family and we called the Woodward's in Bakersfield and invited ourselves up. Boy did they spoil us! Stacey had a yummy lunch prepared for us when we got there. As the kids slept, Stacey and I went shopping while Gabe and Matt watched the Olympics. Then they got a baby sitter and we took the baby and all (the grown ups) went out for a yummy dinner. We came home, gave all the kids a bath, put the girls in the car and headed home. It was such a fun, relaxing day and fun to show off BGE without all of the drama down here at home. Stace, I am still thinking about our great day. Thank you for spoiling the Elliott's and showering us with so much love.

Friday, August 15, 2008

BGE Update #3

I just got off the phone with the grandma and the Lord answered a prayer. She had called because she heard that I had taken the baby to the Dr. (without any insurance again so it cost another $100....for them to tell me that she had a cold.)

We got to talking and I said that I knew that she has some big decisions coming up about adopting the baby. We started talking about open adoption and how we had an open adoption with Ivy and how wonderful I thought it was. She asked me if this was my first time as a foster parent and I said that we were looking to adopt again. I said that we wanted to adopt this way and that we were waiting for a baby to be permanently in our home. I told her many times that I was not trying to talk her into giving us her baby and that she had to make that decision on her own. I said that whoever Matt and I adopt that we would hope to have an open adoption. I did tell her that if the birth mom did not have her life straightened out, we would not be giving our kids contact with her but we would be open to the grandparents. I emphasised letters and pictures and occasional visits. I did say not all the time because we need to be a family.....I told her alot more but she seemed interested in what I had to say.

I told her that Matt and I were Christians and that we had been praying about their decision and that I was not trying to talk her into not adopting the baby. I just wanted her to know what life could be like for her.

I don't know how she took all of it. I am just going to pray about that. (Join with me in that.) She had to get off the phone fast because she had another call and she gave me a genuine thank you. We will see. I just feel really good, like I did my part and now if she decides to adopt her then there was nothing else I could or would do. Thank you Lord for that opportuinty. I still fight my heart wanting to be anxious but God gave me a little desire of my heart today. He is so faithful and good.

BGE (baby girl'll catch on!) has a bad cold but I am loving her and she is loving me. This is just the begining of the ride folks. I am tired all ready. God will see me through. Thank you for your prayers.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Fost-Adopt Update

We finally heard about what happened in court on Tuesday. It is pretty much what we expected. Let 's just say that this is not going to be an easy road for the Elliott family...but not impossible for God.
The birthmom has 6-18 months to "get her act together." She has twice a week visits with the baby (she has to call to set up the visits with our social worker and she hasn't even called yet.). She has other things that she needs to do.
They asked the Grandparents if they wanted to adopt the baby and they said that they were not sure. They are going back to court next week to discuss it further.
They also will contact the birthfather and his family to see if any of them want the baby.
Matt and I (and our social worker) feel like if any one is going to get the baby it is going to be the grandparents. I wish that they would know that if Matt and I adopted her then they would have some sort of contact with her. I think they think that is it "all or nothing". They either have to adopt her or they will never hear about her ever again.
Please pray that they get a chance to know that Matt and I would be willing to have an open adoption. (pictures, letters,maybe visits)
Pray that we find out more of the grandparents hearts on Wednesday and what they are thinking.
Pray for our emotions and that we honor God through everything that comes our way.
Pray for BGE (baby girl elliott) as she is sick right now(bad cold)...that her insurance card will get straightened out so that I can take her to the Dr. tomorrow.
Matt and I are so thankful for your love and concern for us. God is so good.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Baby Girl Elliott

Daddy and his girls
Wow! What a whirlwind couple of days we have had! Thursday was my first day back to work and during my lunch break, I got a call about a 3 month old caucasian baby girl. Matt and I decided to take her. I left work, got Ivy, went to Target (to get formula, etc.) and went to clean my house before she got there. She got to the house around 6pm. and imagine my surprise when I opened the door to find a beautiful milk chocolate brown girl ( Half Russian (white) half African American). I wish someone would have video'd my face when I saw her. It makes me laugh now. Then I got her and when I went around the corner and showed Matt and Ivy...Matt did the same thing I did. His eyes popped out of his face!
She is so beautiful! When she got to the house, we didn't know anything about her schedule, when she sleeps, eats, etc. I started out a little schedule for her and she has been perfect. She sleeps through the night and eats all of her bottles. She is a very content little baby.
Her grandparents have been taking care of her and they have done a great job. I talked to her Grandma a couple of nights ago and she is really upset and sad that BGE (baby girl elliott) is gone and she really wants her back. That really stung my heart because I want to keep her and they very well could get her back.
I just prayed while talking to her that I would think of her and not myself and try to console her that we were taking good care of her. (she doesn't know that we want to adopt her ). Matt and I know some of her story but we don't know what happened to make them take her out of the home. It has something to do with the birthmom.
They go to court on Tuesday to set up a plan for the whole situation. It could mean they set up visitation for the family, it could mean they tell them what they have to do to get her back. It could mean that they say she stays will us for a short time, long time....we don't know. There is always a possibility that she will be ours forever, which of course that is what we want. I know it sounds confusing but even we don't know what is going to happen. We have just been focusing on loving her and praying that God's will be done. ( The court did put her in fost-adopt and not just foster care so they saw a possibility of her being taken out of the home for good and adopted.)
Ivy has had a couple of jealous moments but she has done great with her. Matt and I have been loving every minute with her. I have had big highs and lows. I am working on not letting my mind go to the "what if's" . My friend, Erika called me at just the right time and encouraged me to think on the simple...not make it so complicated. The simple is that God wants her in my home today. She wants me to be her mom today. That is what I am grasping onto.
Here are some quotes from Jerry Bridges book, "Respectable Sins" that I have been thinking about.
"Whatever your circumstances, and however difficult they may be, the truth is that they are ordained by God for you as part of His overall plan for your life. God does nothing, or allows nothing, without a purpose. And His purpose, however mysterious and inscrutable they may be to us, are always for His glory and our ultimate good."
" We can resign ourselves to circumstances we know will never change but still harbor in our hearts a smoldering is neither in resignation nor submission but only in acceptance that we find peace."
Please continue to pray and when I hear what happens On Tuesday, I will let you know.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

My new hair cut

I got my hair cut today and I thought with my short hair I would look more like Ivy...What do you think?