Fost Adopt Update #7

Well, I dropped Ivy off at wendy's and Matt came with me to drop off BGE at the visit. We weren't really prepared for what we saw. When we got there, We were brought to a room to drop her off and Matt and I walked into the room and thought that we were in the wrong room. We thought that there was a man sitting there waiting but it was our birthmom. Dressed in all black, those big earrings that stretch your ear out, tattoos,reeking of smoke and a baseball cap. I said "Hi,....( name). I stretched out my hand to shake hers and Matt did the same. She did not act like she wanted to shake my hand and she was acting like she had already decided not to like us. It was time to hand her over. That is when I wanted to cry. BGE looked beautiful and peaceful and I was handing her over to a masculine girl who scared the day lights out of me. Even then I started to pray. She called BGE "Mommy".
I got a little shaken when I got to the car. Begging the Lord already to spare her from that life and make her ours. I was thinking..she has went from Sunday at church to this? reminding myself that the Lord loves her more than me. Please continue to pray. This is just the beginning and we haven't even had visits with Grandma yet. It makes me thankful for my salvation. I could have grown up in a family like that but the Lord plucked me out of darkness. These visits remind me of what darkness looks like. Please continue to pray.